YOU Are Happening ✨
Hi you,
Every email newsletter you've received over the past few weeks has probably started with some variation of "This time of year can be magical BUT ALSO stressful, hard, exhausting..." While that is all true, it's also sort of always true, right? Complicated family dynamics can rear their head any old month. Guilt about exercise and eating and our bodies and our relationships can come about literally when you least expect it. The airport is always a shitshow. Loneliness doesn't know a season.
We are told over and over again that mindfulness will set us free. Happiness is just on the other side of gratitude. All you have to do is figure out how to feel like you are happening to life, life isn't happening to you. Ok, sure. Those are pieces of the puzzle.
But the puzzle is still puzzling as hell. And if there is one thing that I'll keep banging the drum on it's this: permission granted for all of this to be complicated. Permission granted to be both grateful and stressed. Permission granted to be both mindful and frustrated. There's a lot to be frustrated about. This time of the year, all times of the year — you can be all these things at once. You are happening AND things are happening to you.
One podcast episode that helped me think about this was an interview with Emily Nogoski, co-author of the book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. In it, Emily talks about how we are conditioned to recognize our stress without making space for the actions that actually process it. There are a few evidence-based things that are proven to move us through stress. They are simple (and free), but that doesn't mean easy: physical movement, naps, touch with another human (or petting an animal), laughing, crying.
So good news, it's lots of things we love. When a long day at work makes us want to curl up and watch an episode of The Office, we are handling our stress. When we sleep, the process goes forward. When we hold onto that hug with a friend for 20 seconds, our nervous system calms down.
Wellness is the act of doing this for ourselves as well as for each other. We are going through all of this together. As I mentioned in past newsletters, it's been an intense 2019 for a lot of people that I love. It's been that way for me. So 2020 should be a breeze? LOL. 😳 If it isn't going to get easier, at least we can stay connected to one another.
You aren't alone in feeling like you're sometimes failing your way through wellness. We are here to be your partner in this. We can recommend a show (currently: Dollface). We can help you schedule some good old fashioned sweat. We can hug you. And then we move forward because that's the only direction we've got.
This email is too long, so I'll keep the recommendations short for today:
New clean beauty brand Saie's mascara is legit
These duo color Donni Thermal Cardigans tucked into jeans for chic winter coziness.
Parade underwear because it's comfortable and cute and who doesn't need new underwear always
New (chic) olive oil from our friends at Pineapple Collaborative
A physical subscription to New York Magazine, which is literally always good (and magazine subscriptions are an excellent gift, IMHO)
Finally, today is Giving Tuesday. While I'm not big on acknowledging the endless stream of special days and performative sharing created by/around/for social media (why are you not surprised?), it's the end of the year and there are so many people doing good work on things about which I feel personally passionate. So, a short list for you to consider: RAICES, National Park Foundation, Oceana, National Network of Abortion Funds, Back on My Feet,The Women's Building (San Francisco), La Casa De Las Madres (San Francisco).
Thank you for being here and for all that you do.
xoxo,
Molly