It's a start...
Hello. Hi there.
On Wednesday, I was in two worlds. There was the world with everyone else in it, and there was the one much, much closer in.
On Wednesday, a group of white supremacists did exactly what they said they would do, exactly when they said they would do it, at the behest of the President. And we watched from afar with horror. We watched from afar with anger. And if we felt surprised, we shouldn’t have. It was not a surprise.
On Wednesday, we also saw the uncompromising, precise organizing in Georgia pay off with wins in two historic congressional races. We saw confirmation that the truth had been stripped away, not erased. We saw Stacey Abrams and her team not as miracle workers or saviors, but as extremely good at their work.
On Wednesday, I gripped my phone like squeezing it would give me better answers as I did the math on driving distances and ICU beds and oxygen levels for a close family member with covid. I reminded myself that tears do not equal weakness.
I’ve always been a crier. (Criers of the world unite.) It comes at times that are embarrassing and at times when I want to seem the strongest. I remind myself that the tears mean that I am feeling rather than covering something up, and that’s a good thing. I am working on not being ashamed of my tears. I would never want you to be ashamed of yours.
All of these worlds demand our full attention. We are glued to the news, the urgency of the madness. We are glued to floating blue bubbles, waiting for an update from someone we love. The larger story can be a distraction from our smaller, more pressing and precious ones. The personal urgencies can tear us away from the bigger picture. Our lives don't stop for the world. The world does not stop for our lives.
The lesson remains the same — we have to do both. How the hell do we continue to do both?
The experiences we are tapped with processing do not line up neatly in a row and wait for their turn. We watch one thing on one screen and another play out right in front of us. We work to see our roles in all of it — what has been woven into the fabric of our country and how it is all connected. Even the smallest pieces don’t happen in a vacuum. We can only know what this experience feels like for anyone else by asking. Care for each other. Ask. Always, always.
I was planning to send my new years missive last Friday. I’d been chipping away at at a draft of it for a few weeks. Then, the family member got sick, which halted all productivity (I hate these vagaries as much as the next person, more on this when it feels right). And I watched as the news cycle turned raw, visceral, burning, urgent. I gave myself permission to practice in private for a couple of days. And here we are.
That email, which is about making change within ourselves, will come. Optimistically in the next few days, but I’ve learned my lesson about those sorts of promises. Thank you for understanding.
Until then, the year has started (if you’re into the Gregorian calendar). A day (or three) off from a resolution doesn’t mean it’s broken. Any day is a time to start again. Even this week, even right now. Even if the thing you start is just to start forgiving yourself for being a human through it all.
You have started it. It’s been a start.
To close this abbreviated email: some things that are soothing, delicious, distracting, and soft. This is a list I made for the other email, but I’m including it here. And an ask! And a reminder!
Speaking of puzzles (we weren’t), here is a recommendation for puzzle enthusiasts of any age: The Magic Puzzle Company. The art is intricate and delightful (and funny!), the pieces are high quality and click together in the most satisfying way, and there’s a SURPRISE TWIST at the end. I’ve done more puzzles this year than the rest of my adult life combined and that is the extent of my expertise, but just trust me.
Some recent online shopping of the food variety, because I simply cannot resist exploring new products: I’ve already cooked my way through the recently-launched East Asian sampler from Omsom, have variety packs from the *brand new* ramen startup Immi and plant based nacho cheese LOCA coming my way, made some delightful tuna salad using Fishwife product, and just for fun ordered these chic kits from The Caker (anyone want a contact-free cake delivery?).
For a podcast that feels like you are in conversation with three friends: Busy Philipps is Doing Her Best. For a TV show with a satisfying ending: A Teacher. For a TV show about teens that is bad-but-watchable, truly chaotic and with a *very* unsatisfying ending: The Wilds. (If you watch this one, let’s chat.) Two movies I enjoyed: Black Bear, Soul. For a podcast from the past that is always worth revisiting: Mystery Show. Once a week Aminatou Sow curates the best of TikTok on her IG stories and it is 100% worth your time.
In addition to my (somewhat) daily Morning Pages, I’m trying something new. At the recommendation of my friend, writer Rachel Khong, I just bought this 5 Year Diary from illustrator-author-designer-griddle cook Tamara Shopsin to write down a few lines about my day for the next….60 months.
I don’t remember how they entered my life (probably a Christmas gift from my mother years ago?) but these slippers re-emerged into my daily existence in 2020 and I cannot recommend the little foot clouds enough.
And an ask: I’m trying to be inspired by anything in the activewear category but am coming up short. Are there new workout apparel, accessory, equipment, product brands worth checking out? I spend a *decent* amount of time looking into this, but I’m open to being surprised! Hit me up: askaway@theassembly.com
And speaking of which, I will answer you questions and offer insight (or help get someone more qualified than myself to help out). Really anything goes. Folx have asked about van camping, entrepreneurship, shopping advice, investor ideas, and so on. Come at me: askaway@theassembly.com. I’ll either answer publicly in a newsletter (anonymized) or privately just to you! If I haven’t responded to you yet, I will very soon!
Remember, in the words of Dolly:
I can see the light of a clear blue morning.
Everything’s gonna be alright. Gonna be okay.
Take good care, my loves.
xo,
Molly
P.S. Is 2021 the year you join a book club? Could it be? Our next book for our (virtual) book club is Outlawed by Anna North. We’ll meet at 4 pm PST on January 31. Sign up and join us!