It's About Us, Always. 🌲

Hi, hello. 

This one is about trees. Sort of. It's about the stories we tell ourselves. It's about us. Always. 

My July plan was to spend time alone, feeling out the edges of my comfort. I went solo backpacking for the first time. I talked to myself for hours. I wrote until my hand cramped up over and over. I slept in a van under a canopy of firs and lay awake in a tent under a wide open night sky. I went into the month wanting to think myself into some answers. Instead, I thought a lot about trees.

For days alone in woods, I read The Overstory and then The Hidden Life of Trees. I experienced tremendous gratitude for how the trees take care of us simply by being. I lay awake at night in my tent anxious and breathing (in 1, 2, 3, 4...out 1, 2, 3, 4) telling myself the trees would keep me safe. I learned about the ways they communicate support to one another. Their root networks tell each other be careful, I can help protect you or you're sick, I am here to help. When humans are at our best, we do this. More often, we do not. 

I tried to will myself into a revelation about my life. My biggest revelation was about trees.

Along the way, we have deprioritized the understory to showcase the over one. We cannot — we must not — value the representation and performance of support over the support itself. Take stock of your community – does anyone seem like they've boiled over the brink for any reason? If there's a yes, don't just remind her that she is strong, grab her hand and be her strength. 

Be careful, I will protect you. You're sick, I will help.

You know more now than you did a month, two months, a year ago. Maybe you've accomplished all the things you thought you would in this time frame (lol, amazing, congrats). You baked the bread and started the fitness routine and learned the skill. More likely though, you didn't. You fell short of some arbitrary goal or deadline you put on your life. I certainly have, again and again. But you did what you needed to protect yourself in order to grow. And if you had done all those things, you would only have found more, further goals to set.

You are having conversations you never thought you would, you are seeing the world with new eyes, you are fighting and changing. You are holding yourself accountable to your place in the world. You are not looking away from the daily assault on the bodies and rights of people in this country. You are not backing away from the changes happening. You are growing up and out. You are growing down and in. You're doing it simply by continuing to play. 

I went a little farther back today and pulled up the photo of myself signing the lease for 449 14th street, the physical home of The Assembly. We got the keys three years ago this month. I never could have imagined the highest highs or the lowest lows. I couldn't have protected myself from this current situation. Not even close. Thank you for the part you have played. 

I tell myself that where I am is not a failure, even when it feels like I am failing. Every moment of surrender or peace is followed by another of panic. The change and uncertainty is still terrifying. I will never hide that, for better or for worse. And yet, I repeat. If I keep playing, seeing what happens next will always be worth it. Up and out. Down and in. I list the things I have done in my years, they are beyond my wildest ideas for my life. I bet that yours are as well. You protected yourself enough to get here. You challenged yourself enough to get here. As always, this is a message for myself as much as it's a message for you. We got here. Hello. I'm so happy to see you. Keep going. 

Our roots are deeper than our branches. They grow unseen but no less important than the parts we show the world. They are how we protect and nurture our surroundings. Say this to each other, be careful, I am here to protect you or you're sick, I can help you heal. We are at our best when we do this for each other. Think about the trees. Keep playing. 

In the examination of the (unearned) privilege of my life, a comfort in the outdoors has a spot on the list. This is not lost on me. As I sat and listened to the trees — which are never truly silent — I made a commitment to help more. Nature heals us simply by existing and we need a lot of healing. I will find ways to make connecting to plants and the earth more equitable and accessible. Some organizations to support: GirlTrek, BlackGirlsTrekkin, Girl Ventures.

I hope you are doing okay. On we go. Take good good care. There is a lot stay vigilant on. Keep your eyes open. Spread protection. If there is a way I can help you or anyone get into nature, I'm here. 

Tomorrow, a bunch of women I love and support have come together for Revive in Power, a day of moment and fundraising. Join some of our favorite Assembly instructors like Amber, Nkechi, Hailey, Allison, Shonna, and more for this special event (organized in part by Dani!).

More to come from me about The Assembly sooner than later. 

xo, 

Molly 

Permission Granted

1. If you're not yet familiar with Ziwe, you will be. The writer/comedian/talk show host started her series Baited in 2017, but it's taken on a new life on Instagram in the past two months. Every Thursday she talks to two guests (think Alison Roman, Alyssa Milano) about race and culture. Head on, no mercy. Lots of nervous white people. As Ziwe says in this excellent profile, conversations that make us uncomfortable are a direct line to healing. 

2. I love this new addition to my mask collection from Aplat. The design is comfortable, breathable, and beautiful. Hand-sewn, female-founded, zero waste (thanks to Maggie S. for the rec!).

3. The new "proudly and loudly" Asian cooking starters Omsom have made for some of the most delightful and satisfying recent dinners in my home. Sister founders Vanessa and Kim Pham work directly with chefs to create the recipes and make it all very, very easy.

4. Our friends at Brightland Olive Oil recently launched two varieties of vinegar and as someone who uses champagne vinegar as a go-to addition to make a salad feel fancy, I am expecially excited to try Parasol. 

5. Comfy wardrobe updates: a sweatshirt from CERES, the newly launched natural fibers fitness line created with sustainability and athletes in mind. T-shirts from Girlfriend's new collection. And in case you missed these recs any of the past few summers Patagonia Baggies and Tevas for adventures large and small. 

6. An album to listen to: Phoebe Bridgers. My favorite tracks: Chinese Satellite, Garden Song.