The Best We Can
Happy Mother's Day to all the moms, mom stand ins, and aspiring moms out there. Here's to celebrating incredible women who provide love, support, security, and safety. And here's to all of you doing the best you can, because in the end that's what we've got and it's beautiful.
Conversations about motherhood — the billion big and little decisions surrounding it — can feel riddled with judgement. As women, no matter what we are prioritizing when, someone is there to tell us we're doing it wrong. There aren't answers about when is the "perfect time" or the right number of kids or the correct amount to work/not work as a mom. There is no single truth. The only option we have is to trust ourselves with the information we have at any given time. That's life. It can feel like a real crapshoot sometimes.
One of my favorite things I read this week was this list of the best advice people have ever received. There are two that stood out to me:
“If there were a right way to raise a child, everyone would do it the same way.”
“Things don’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.”
Things aren't perfect, because that doesn't exist. None of us has exactly the lives we thought we would. That's not how it works. Every day we each make thousands of decisions. They don't have the same as anyone else's to be beautiful. Let's keep cheering each other on and giving ourselves a break, too. That sounds wonderful to me.
And finally, because these conversations do not exist in a vacuum, an aside that I want to share. In 2017 I volunteered as a peer counselor for Exhale, an after abortion talk line. What I heard over the course of that year wasn't about politics. I listened to people of all ages, backgrounds, marital status, religions, and political affiliations process their experiences. I heard from women whose pregnancies put them in life threatening medical situations, women who remained anti-abortion even after their own, and many who had to travel incredible distances to receive safe care. Lots of the people I talked to were parents already, only trying to ensure they could be the best possible mother or father to their children.
What is happening this week in Georgia and in states across this country will not stop abortion from happening. These laws will make it harder to find safe access which will put women's lives at risk. The voices I heard on the talk line weren't thinking about party lines; they were humans doing the best that they could. There are lots of ways to support this fight — I'm starting by donating to NARAL.
So much love to you, the mothers and mother-figures out there doing incredible things for your families, and everyone for whom days like this are hard. You're doing the best that you can, too. You are celebrated and appreciated.
xx,
Molly
Permission Granted
…to share (and sleep)
In response to last week's newsletter and Mental Health Awareness Month, here are some of the resources we use to navigate mental health at home, at work, in our relationships, and within our relationships to ourselves. We are so much strong when we share experiences, so please keep doing so.
This month at The Assembly we're hosting a Balance Challenge to encourage focusing less on wellness as a trend and more as an integration into our daily lives. The four categories we are committed to honoring seven times each this month are Movement, Connection, Mindfulness, and Rest. Grab a board and join us, or participate from afar.
"Project HEAL, a fantastic organization dedicated to ensuring people struggling with eating disorders have access to care. They have a few different programs, but one I’d particularly recommend is Communities of Healing, a free, in-person support group." - Jessica
Two Chairs, which aims to make it easy to find the right therapist for you. We're partnering with them for a Navigating the Mental Wellness Landscape event later this month.
When it comes to mental health and work —employees and employers — check out Mindshare Partners, Modern Health, and (member-founded!) Empower Work.
"Honor is a platform to find caretaking resources for parents. With so many women in the middle and feeling the pressure and stress of taking care of kids and parents, it's a tool that can help provide some reassurance." - Jaime-Alexis
The new podcast Motherhood Sessions, which listens in on a reproductive psychiatrist's sessions with different moms each week.
And finally, sleep. Sleep is the little mental health engine that could. It is not honored enough and we are here for it. Sleep on, sleep queen.