We're Sideline Queens 👑
Hey there,
Being on the sidelines can teach you as much as being in the game. For the past few weeks, I've been sidelined from some of my favorite activities due to an injury. I'm fine. I'll be fine. I'm thankful to be able to heal. And yet, it takes work for me to be okay on the sidelines.
When the things that I think of as critical self care — taking STRONGER, yoga, running — actually cause pain, it forces me to reckon with self compassion instead. Self care is the word of the past couple years, but what I've come to learn is that without self compassion, self care is another set of acts that can make you feel guilty or inadequate.
If a friend told me that she fell out of her morning routine for a few weeks, would I criticize her? If a friend shared that she'd been taking more rest days than workout days, would I judge her?
Self-compassion is complicated, because all of this work is complicated. True self care isn't the bath or the lemon water or the candle; those should be the *lovely* byproducts of actually checking in on yourself and hearing your own needs. Listen to the stories you tell yourself and do the simple test: if a friend said she was feeling this way, what would I do or say? It sounds trite, but it helps.
Imperfection in all things, even... especially... the things you really love, is part of being human. When something unexpected lands you back on the sidelines, it's a chance to examine what you are tying your identity to and why. I've written here before about being gentle with yourself. Also try to be kind with yourself within your self care routines — when they work and when they don't come as easily.
I'm working on examining what success means to me (a newsletter for another time, perhaps) and in the meantime, I'm trying to be kind to myself about the process. The process that sometimes hums along with precision, and sometimes means being on the sidelines. If you're there too, come take a seat next to me. We got this.
Thank you, always. And I hope to see you soon.
xo,
Molly
Permission Granted
…to be the cheering section
I quickly binged Ann Friedman's new podcast Going Through It. Short episodes + conversations about hard shit + women I admire = winning combo. Start with: Rebecca Traistor, Samin Nosrat, Jessamyn Stanley.
Full permission to watch on repeat: the Lizzo "Truth Hurts" sing-along scene in the very fun/funny breakup movie Someone Great on Netflix. Also true: I cried during the opening montage.
My new power outfit is a navy coverall from Wildfang, a female founded brand out of Seattle.
Excited to back Ethel's Club, the first private social club for people of color opening in Brooklyn.
Watch Homecoming *you don't need my recommendation for this* to see hard work create excellence. Also, let's celebrate the joy of mediocrity too.
I just made my first order from the newly launched (and female founded) Blueland, an eco-friendly cleaning company designed to reduce plastic waste.